Subject: Well, DUH
Date: Thu Jun 9 16:21:00 2011
User: Snowguy
Message:Product warnings:
http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Life/11-Funny-Fine-Print-Warnings.html
Date: Thu Jun 9 17:38:56 2011
User: beverley
Message:What's even more 'duh' is that these warnings are necessary ONLY because people have used them that way. Lololol
Date: Thu Jun 9 18:53:55 2011
User: roo
Message:Let me do the hack work.
Link: Well duh
Date: Thu Jun 9 20:26:04 2011
User: .!.
Message:These are SO strange to the layman whos unaware of their legal origin. As soon as I saw "product warnings",my blow-dryer warning came to mind. I saved it for a friend to send in to his Consumer Reports magazine. They have a back page they devote to weird/redundant warnings. The warning comes from my CONAIR. As the 2nd on list above shows,it warns not to use blow dryer-WHILE SLEEPING!
Okay,first thing I thought is its a misprint. How could anyone actually use ANYTHING while sleeping? Well,a reality program came on a while back showing strange habits of people such as eating glass and rocks. There was a lady on there who cant sleep unless she sticks a RUNNING blow dryer under her blanket all night!
The Superman one says it wont help you fly. A kid in Brownsville,Brooklyn found out the hard way.
Not sure why Duraflame warns of fire(unless maybe its capable of self-combustion),otherwise desire for fire is exactly why you buy it.
Something tells me if youre eating ipod shuffles,youre in no capacity to read any warnings.
Unless youre buying an(expensive)Razor go kart for sculpture display,you should be aware it "moves".
And Easy Cheese. I must REALLY be ignorant of this legality. How could a "result" even be expected if you leave the cap on? You cant even access the trigger. Its UNDER the cap.
Thanks,Snowguy for sharing your Redbook musings with the rest of us.
Date: Thu Jun 9 20:42:50 2011
User: JustSue
Message:.!., I saw that bit with the woman and the hairdryer... true story! :)
Date: Thu Jun 9 21:30:42 2011
User: olblue
Message:The best one I ever heard of is a warning in the owner's manual of one of the RV motorhomes. Not sure which manufacturer, Winnebago maybe? Anyway, it warns that while driving said vehicle you should not leave the drivers seat while underway. What prompted this warning? A brand new RV owner while driving down the road decided a cup of coffee would taste really great about then, so he got up to fix a cup. The rest is history.
Date: Thu Jun 9 21:42:46 2011
User: hotnurse
Message:Before there ever was a warning about not putting hot liquids in PAPER/PLASTIC/STYROFOAM between legs while driving......who wudda thunk to put a blistering hot cup of anything in *that* area not only while driving but ANYTIME??? But now I know 'cause it says so on the cup.
They should have put a warning on 9v batteries because I can't count the times that my brothers and I tried to see it they *still* tingled when we put them to our tongue. They did.
Date: Thu Jun 9 22:36:44 2011
User: snowguy
Message:Thanks, roo, for fixing my mess on the link above. I was in a hurry when I posted it.
The RV one; do you suppose he mistook cruise control for autopilot? (Not available in motor vehicles yet.)
About the 9V battery, one way to start a fire while camping is to touch a bit of steel wool to the terminals. It turns the strands red as they they heat up immensely. They actually incinerate.
Date: Fri Jun 10 00:47:17 2011
User: Tagkag
Message:The product warnings were interesting, but I would be more interested in why Snowguy is perusing womansday.com. :)
Date: Fri Jun 10 09:15:37 2011
User: olblue
Message:Hey HN, if I'm not mistaken...it was McDonalds that that lady purchased the cup of coffee!
Date: Fri Jun 10 13:43:24 2011
User: beverley
Message:Some people just do stupid things for sure. A lady was using an electric hand mixer that had a detachable cord. The mixer end of the cord detached accidentally and fell in the batter. Well, the lady couldn't continue until she cleaned all the batter off of the mixer end of the cord. What better way to get all that batter off than to stick it in her mouth! Worked great.
Would've worked better if she'd unplugged the other end from the wall socket first though.
Date: Fri Jun 10 14:01:24 2011
User: Snowguy
Message:Ouch. Unintentional tonsilectomy.
Womans Day? CNN always has these "lists" they link to. (The stupidest this, the best that) so this was one link I followed.
(Not to mention my "feminine side...")
Ooops
Date: Fri Jun 10 14:58:23 2011
User: olblue
Message:You hussy.
Date: Fri Jun 10 16:04:12 2011
User: hotnurse
Message:blue, it was at McD's several years ago. They settled out of court for an undisclosed amount and were required to put a warning on the cups.
Sorta reminds me of the guy we had in surgery who, due to no warning label, inserted a birthday candle up his penis until it went beyond the point of no return. The doc did get it back out after putting the patient to sleep. But then again, it *was* his birthday. Duh!
Date: Fri Jun 10 17:29:05 2011
User: Dr.Bombay
Message:I'm thinking that same thing Tagkag is - why is Snowguy reading WWD?
Date: Fri Jun 10 17:35:35 2011
User: TNmountainman
Message:I'm thinking candles are going to have to be *much* bigger in order to accommodate all the warning labels that I can now think of.....
Date: Fri Jun 10 21:17:26 2011
User: snowguy
Message:Hay you guys. I only read it because Soldier of Fortune, Demolition Weekly and Ultimate Fighting Championship Retirees didn't come on schedule. And I was in a doctor'ss office.
...And my feminine side was yearning...
Damn
Date: Mon Jun 13 07:17:04 2011
User: malr
Message:I quite liked the warning label on the huge rotatable shelving units in the library I worked in. I wish I'd taken a photo, or at least copied it out longhand. Best I can remember, it said (in obvious 'translatese') 'warning - intruding body parts while in use may impede mechanism'.
It didn't say anything about being drunk or pregnant, though...
Date: Mon Jun 13 16:18:16 2011
User: SAB
Message:Hard to believe but I could not find any previous reference to the Darwin Awards, although they surely qualify for this thread.
Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
Link: http://www.darwinawards.com/
Date: Tue Jun 14 07:23:52 2011
User: SAB
Message:TN what did I do wrongly? I searched for a Darwin Awards thread before I posted but got nothing. Are those searches case sensitive? Or did I mistype (as usual)?
SAB
Date: Tue Jun 14 08:34:13 2011
User: roo
Message:TN, I was going to add that Dopeler thread, but many of the links in it are not working any more, so I didn't.
Date: Tue Jun 14 08:51:48 2011
User: TNmountainman
Message:Yeah, I decided the same thing...
SAB, all I can guess is you typed in "Darwin" in the search box using only "subject", instead of also trying "body" (pull down menu of two choices).
Date: Fri Jun 17 16:16:52 2011
User: malr
Message:'You have recently posted several comments.
Enter the text in the image to continue posting. untouting
Can't read?'
I quite like youtube's attempt to assist the illiterate among us.
'Can't read? - then you won't be able to read our attempt to explain what you should do next. In fact, we won't even attempt to explain what to do next - we'll just keep giving you more text that you can't read - HAH! - sucks to be you.'
Date: Sat Jun 18 00:24:09 2011
User: TNmountainman
Message:How untoutful of them...
Date: Sun Jul 5 09:35:16 2015
User: wildcard
Message:That's just plain stupid. He is dead wrong.
Date: Sun Jul 5 09:39:16 2015
User: firenze
Message:And . . . . . . . . . . .he has a twin brother.
Date: Sun Jul 5 11:32:12 2015
User: wildcard
Message:By the way, my mom's province in Canada was mentioned in that story, and also the first town she lived in in the USA is were the story took place.
Date: Sun Jul 5 12:14:33 2015
User: TNmountainman
Message:Wow. The competition's going to be tough this year........................as is often the case.
Date: Sun Jul 5 15:27:43 2015
User: wildcard
Message:"the alligator did not kill it instantly" -implying, what, I dunno. But the fact is, the coon scurried off the gator's back and got away safely. It was only there an instant. lol. That actually was taken 3 weeks ago near Ocala and is not photoshopped.
Date: Sun Jul 5 15:33:09 2015
User: TNmountainman
Message:I was letting each reader figger all that out on their own (altho the internal link is very clear about all that), but certainly it is a massively cool pic. I had been saving that since it first appeared, for what reason I knew not. Obviously, things sync up sometimes, no?
Date: Sun Jul 5 15:40:21 2015
User: wildcard
Message:Never saw the link. Thought it was an incomplete story. Figured I'd save anyone that cared the time and trouble of researching the usual bs.
Date: Sun Jul 5 15:45:49 2015
User: TNmountainman
Message:On my screen, it's where it says, in red, "picture was taken", which is a hyperlink to the WFTV site. Clearly, from reading the comments below what I posted, a bunch of peeps didn't follow up to get the whole story - for whatever reasons. Likely laziness in most cases. Thankfully, "The_Interpreter" was not needed in this case.
Date: Tue Jul 7 10:38:22 2015
User: TNmountainman
Message:"Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid. He was the kind of person who would pretend to do something stupid to make people laugh," he said.
-- Cody Staples, the brother of Devon Staples, the fireworks Darwin contestant from Calais (the Maine one)
Could one surmise that he didn't know his brother as well as he thought he did?
Date: Fri Jun 15 13:34:13 2018
User: TNmountainman
Message:Here's an entrant for this year from near me. However, I doubt this will even make the finals; not very original, as I think that's been done numerous times.
(But see following post for a *great* try!)
[And unfortunately.....the link to my last post above from 2.5 years ago has disappeared. And I don't even remember what it was.]
Link: "Hood surfing" 'wipes out' another victim
Date: Fri Jun 15 13:45:33 2018
User: TNmountainman
Message:This woman will *not* win a Darwin award, at least not for this event, but it has to be considered a fantastic attempt.
And I know there are been some other memorable choices since this thread was last updated. Just not gonna take the time to research them.
Link: "alcohol may have played a role"
Date: Fri Jun 15 19:17:16 2018
User: BuzzClik
Message:I think stupidity played a role, too.
Date: Thu Apr 4 12:05:35 2019
User: TNmountainman
Message:This could go in either of two threads. It seems as tho the real qualifiers for the Darwin Awards are mostly found (in recent times) in the "Want a knife with that chicken?............" thread, but this thread (see hyperlink) seems to be the location of those who give it a real good try, but fail at being an official qualifier. With that said..........
And here's the "Want a knife with that chicken?........." link, for those who need a refresher course:
https://www.freecell.net/f/c/disctopic.html?code=13068&replies=22
Link: Well, they call them "bulletproof"
Date: Thu Apr 4 12:25:54 2019
User: The_Inquisitor
Message:Arkansas is close to Tennessee, right?
Do you think regional inbreeding is a factor?
Date: Thu Apr 4 12:34:41 2019
User: TNmountainman
Message:It is - but only *West* Tennessee. This particular TN resident is more than 700 miles from the site of this noble experiment. As to the regional inbreeding......I suspect that yes, it well could be. And since Benton County (home of your friendly Wal-Mart headquarters), is hard up against the Texas, Missouri, and Oklahoma state lines.....................well...............................you can draw your own inferences. Or, being an inquisitive sort, you may wish to inquire of the Texans on this board, of which there are several, I believe.
Date: Thu Apr 4 12:36:55 2019
User: TNmountainman
Message:.......or of the Missouri residents, of which there are also at least two or three, I believe.
Date: Tue Apr 12 04:15:30 2022
User: TNmountainman
Message:It's been awhile since we've looked in on the various Darwin award contestants and winners around our fine world, but this one is fairly 'good'. One wonders what the original subject was of my link from Apr. 4, 2019 above (link not valid anymore). Just from the way I titled that link this may be another case of the same thing. Not shocking that this is Florida. Which is not to imply that some other states couldn't supply suitably parallel Darwin candidates.
Link: Well, they call them bulletproof (part 2?)
Date: Tue Apr 12 09:17:21 2022
User: Klepp
Message:I moderately enjoy living as I do: in a place where there are far, far more reasons (to me) not to own a gun, than to otherwise...(I recognize long-shunned childhood acquaintances in the above youngsters, alas...
Date: Tue Apr 12 09:43:56 2022
User: outskirts
Message:Used to hang out at a train trestle. Actually, it was an underpass, but hey... It was Florida. And that's what they called it. Some boys thought it was funny to scare the girls to death. Nothing happened, but I never went back.
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