Subject: funny craigslist ads
Server time: Mon Sep 21 13:59
Date: Sun Oct 20 18:08:11 2013
User: Denny
Message:Seen any? I mentioned a couple on my MOTF.
Denny
Date: Sun Oct 20 21:31:56 2013
User: elk
Message:Just search for 'the best of craigslist.' Here's an example.
Free Death Ray parts
Do you have a science degree? Do you think the world would be better if you could just be in charge? Do you want to show those fools at the academy?
I am listing a small selection of Death Ray parts as a service to the junior members of the mad science community. This includes a high voltage power supply, suitable for gauss cannon, tesla coil, or even just Jacobs' ladder use; three vacuum tubes with emitters rated for soft X-rays (No guarantee of safety made when pumped to hard X-ray levels, but then, is there ever?); and a Fresnel lens appx 60 inches corner to comer, suitable for solar melting of asphalt, aluminium, and the skulls of your enemies.
All this is free for pickup. It's all in one convenient 450lb package, a Panasonic PT6G53. Yes, the TV functionality is fine, and until recently I was using it as a second monitor attached to one of my command station computers. However, times change, plasma TVs go on discount, and you can pick up this attractive bundle of parts for the low price of FREE!
Please bring minions. It's seriously very heavy.
Email to set up a time to meet at the facility. Available evenings after 6pm, or any time on the 13th or 14th.
Date: Sun Oct 20 23:42:11 2013
User: Bogey
Message:A man was selling his wife's poodle. He said she left him, and he was afraid she might come back... But if she found out he sold the poodle, she would never come back, ever. He was asking $1.
Date: Mon Oct 21 09:01:49 2013
User: Anomaly
Message:Here is a current one
FREE RECLINER --In pretty great condition but needs repair on the wood under the chair, but the chair still works as is. It is currently being held together by super glue and bailing wire and if you know how to fix it, it will be a great chair. Made for the larger person. Email me for address. Currently out by the street. I will delete when gone.
Date: Mon Oct 21 12:02:19 2013
User: odessagirl
Message:My son was going to Minnesota on business and then to a cabin in Western Michigan for the weekend so he made his plane reservations to Minneapolis and from Detroit (to Austin). Then he looked for a rental car and discovered the high premium for drop off at an alternate location. His solution was to buy a car from a Craigs List ad (I think he paid $400) which the guy delivered to him at the Minneapolis airport, drive it from Minneapolis through Wisconsin and across the UP of Michigan, to the cabin and ultimately to Detroit where he sold it from a Craigs list ad for $350 to a guy who picked it up from him at the airport. The guy buying the car wanted it only for parts so the whole title and licensing thing was not an issue.
Date: Mon Oct 21 16:37:30 2013
User: elk
Message:Require Dragon Slayer
I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over the north east side of Grand Rapids for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to:
1.) Lure said dragon away from Grand Rapids to a more rural area.
2.) Force said dragon to land in rural area.
3.) Slay said dragon in whatever way you see fit.
No Pay, dragon slaying is it's own reward.
Please note that I am not talking about the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
Location: Greater Grand Rapids Area
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
Date: Mon Oct 21 19:11:55 2013
User: billyh
Message:Wanted woman with a boat who can fish, cut bait and hunt. Please send a picture of the boat.
Date: Tue Oct 22 13:32:30 2013
User: Donkbaby
Message:Car Ad: Reliable transportation For Sale.
300,000 miles on a rebuilt engine, never wrecked twice in the same year.
Bring jumper cables to test drive.
Any reasonable cash offer accepted.
Date: Tue Oct 22 13:53:46 2013
User: Anomaly
Message:Free recliner is gone. I went in search of a funny personal ad and found this very interesting one instead. I like it.
To all the broken men-menders - m4w
To all the broken men-menders:
What is it about you that you feel you cannot do any better than being someone else's surrogate happiness? Each and every one of you is so beautiful and warm, and there are armies of men who don't have any desire to use you to get over someone else, who just want the chance to be with someone compassionate for once. Who are fully capable of mending their own wounds but could still stand the softness of being held to someone's breast. Who will never have a chance with you, because they take it as a point of pride to refuse to satisfy this deeply seated psychological need to sacrifice yourself for people who don't really need it. How many men are out there, sobbing into the shirt of someone who they don't care about - the shirt of someone who feels the same turmoil as you - because of you?
People trapped in longing can only mend themselves, it's not your job. You've spent so much time trying to fix broken hearts, you are a master of their architecture. Just imagine what your skills could accomplish with a heart that was whole from the start.
Date: Tue Oct 22 14:03:02 2013
User: Anomaly
Message:Oh. That ad was apparently in response to this ad, posted @9 hours earlier.
To all the broken men out there - w4m - 26 (Middle of Lost)
To all the broken men out there:
What is it about me that draws you into my life like a moth to the flame? Each and every one of you have come into my world in such a serendipitous and beautiful way. Yet each and every one of you have been hurt in such a profound way. So I will hold your head gently against my breasts and assure you that everything will be ok. I will squeeze you tight so that you can feel again. I will listen to your pain knowing full well that I don't have the power to fix you completely. Knowing full well that I am just the temporary fix overshadowed by the one you can't let go of.
lol. w4m (woman looking for a man) ended with a preposition. I like m4w's reply very much.
Craig's list can be interesting.
Date: Tue Oct 22 14:25:17 2013
User: Anomaly
Message:Found a funny personal ad.
Girl in Beemer main st. - m4w - 22 (Downtown ___)
You were booking it from main to Williston til 34th, doing some close-call lane changes towards the end. I kept ahead of you from main through most of Williston, but wasn't really in race-mood/mode so I yielded to you and got in the right lane. I believe you were in a 335i. Let me know what model/color car I was driving; I'm curious about your car and would love to ask you some more details about it. It is a pretty sweet vehicle.
Date: Tue Oct 22 17:33:31 2013
User: Snowguy
Message:Wonder if she has a boat, too.
Date: Tue Oct 22 18:19:17 2013
User: cynthie
Message:I heard about a guy who answered an ad for a late-model BMW for $50. He hesitated at first thinking it was a typo, then decided to call anyway. A woman answered and said yes, the car really was $50. They talked and he agreed to meet her to look at the car. It was fairly new and in incredible condition. He verified the price with her then gave her the money. Then he asked her why she was selling it so cheaply. Her response was, "Well, it's my ex's car, and he told me to sell it and send him the money."!!!
Date: Wed Oct 23 21:47:20 2013
User: Denny
Message:All super funny except that last one. I've never been bitter with an ex. Seems like we shouldn't have the "love turns to hate" role model thing, but I'm rambling.
elk about suggests "Best of Craiglist." See link below.
Link: Best of Craigslist
Date: Thu Oct 24 01:06:27 2013
User: joeygray
Message:I had to look up a plot summary to Of Mice and Men to finish enjoying that story.
Date: Thu Oct 24 08:23:20 2013
User: sillama
Message:Hah! As I remember, he got shot.
Denny, that has to be the funniest thing I have read in ages!!! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing!
Date: Mon Sep 7 08:50:29 2026
User: outskirts
Message:Labor Day ⚡flashback!⚡
Please click Denny's link 3 posts up. Lol
Bonus comments from Joey and the late Silvia
Have a happy Labor Day 2026
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