Subject: Stream of Consciousness: a thread that cannot be hijacked

badda-boom

Operation Hummingbird

The biggest power grab known to man.

Working title: "The $7,000,000,000,000 Grift"...

That is not power but is a really big grab. 

I’ve had some ppl I either don’t know at all or barely know say some extremely crappy things to me lately. It’s abnormal and seems very odd.

I’d say the first quarter of life I got the standard crudeness you get during that time, as many idiotic “adults” tend to see kids as second class citizens, just below taxpayers and barely above animals, so tend to say crappy things. That isn’t special for me, we were all kids once and can remember how people can talk to you- akin to middle class management taking out their frustrations on the workers. Then in teenage years we all say crappy stuff to each other on occasion. 

But during and after your 20s, it’s like the world goes sane for a while. You don’t have to worry abt ppl just being randomly rude wherever. UNTIL lately, apparently. Anybody else having this? Because I can’t see how it’s anything I’m doing. So either I’m a statistical anomaly or ppl are getting defensive as hell. I’d lay my money on effects of social media or political stuff but I honestly can’t tell and it’s truly creeping me out. 

I still remember, with amusement, when I was 60 a 30 year old co-worker told me I was old. I took it as a compliment.

I wish I meant things like that. No, I’m afraid I mean pretty cruel things. Ok, just a recent example:

One night last week I went to gas station. There’s an old guy driving a taxi, sitting in car, smoking a cig and literally ashing right at the pump. I used to smoke for many years so I don’t judge it-nor anyone’s choices, unless they can hurt others—and ashing a cig right on the pump scares me. Personal sidebar, as a kid, my granddad witnessed his dads death due to an accident with a cigar or cigarette and gasoline, which I always found horrifying &disturbing, esp. as my granddad was the kindest person I’ve known.

I walk up to station. On door is sign, “Back in 30”. I realize the guy’s just sitting there smoking for a while. But since it’s habitual to smoke, I thought maybe he didn’t realize what he’s doing, right? So on my way back to car, as I approach his, I smile, wink, and sweetly say, “be careful with that.” 

Was gonna leave it at that and kept walking but he starts chewing me out so I stop to listen while he tells me to mind my own business (risk of my death is not my business?”) and calls me all sorts of things. When he finally lets me get a word in, I say, “sir, I didn’t mean anything, but my great granddad died in a fire like that, so only meant be careful.” He responded with “HE SHOULDVE TAKEN YOU WITH HIM!”. I walked to my car.

GoAdoptADog!, it's a complex issue, but I think you've touched on some of it. My observations are that people are isolating themselves from real-life interactions, and they are losing their ability to relate to people. Social isolation started awhile ago, magnified by the internet and even more by Covid. There also has been a tendency for people to work from home as much as possible. 

Social media apps allow you to filter out negative interactions by blocking certain people or eliminating comments altogether. Discussions on message boards are anonymous with minor consequences for posting horrible comments. 

The political/social climate up until recently was restricting speech that was deemed hateful or judgmental. The pendulum swung so far that it was challenging to navigate normal conversations. For example, you might want to know if someone you are talking to has ever met one of your friends; try describing any of your friends in words without mentioning skin color, age, size, or (apparent) gender. The pendulum was recently cut loose, and the swing in the opposite direction is back to the bad old days of homophobic comments, body shaming, and openly racist remarks. Clearly, a segment of the population feels unfettered by civil discourse. 

I will also say that around the age you're describing, I became a bit more sensitive to people's comments. Ignorant, poorly phrased comments that once merely bounced off were became a source of irriation. It took me a long time to figure that out (work in progress). 

EDIT: You and I were posting simultaneously, so I missed your gas station story. Your interaction with the smoker is not unusual, and that kind of reaction from smokers has existed forever. Smokers often feel like targets, and they tend to be prickly. Two of my best friends had brothers who were big smokers, and they both were totally inconsiderate about it. They would smoke indoors and get very aggressive if any dared to comment. One of them threw his cigarette in the face of one of his detractors. My personal approach to smokers is to give them a wide berth -- not unlike my approach to porcupines, skunks, scorpions, and hornets. 

No, she meant it mean and petty. And she barely knew me at all. And when I thanked her it probably pissed her off because I wasn't provoked. The same woman didn't know how to read a quarter pound on a meat scale, working there at the deli, and had to call me over to ask. A lot of it is just plain stupidity.

2025-05-12 16:00

Thought of Deepness

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." 

Please ladies, just let them hang.

Brew and Buzz, don’t think I told it right. I don’t have anything against smokers, I chainsmoked cigs for abt 17 years, starting at 16 yrs old. It was the ashing his cig directly on ground inches away from gas pump for a while that scared me, esp. with my granddad having seen his dad burn to death that way. Still, I wasn’t rlly intrusive abt it. 

One thing I learned from college friends who weren’t from the south is strangers tend to talk to each other more often here. I don’t think I’ve ever gone into a shop without saying hi to someone I don’t know, or giving a polite “how ya doing?” or at least a nod, and generally someone else does same to me. Once had a roommate from another country who’d been in the south a week come back from a gas station to tell me her “really bizarre” story where an old guy asked her “how are you today, darlin?” with a wink and she was taken aback, then some lady struck up a chat with her about a relative. She wasn’t used to strangers doing that, while I was shocked because that’s all I’m used to, and to me it’s a friendly, normal thing. (edit: my friend was cool and she later found strangers talking to her to be endearing. Other pals from northern states have described similar “odd” events to me, they also came to find it charming that strangers speak to each other here.)

Anyway I just gave the old man a wink, smile, nod, and a simple “careful with that” on my way back to pump. It incited much wrath, is my point, and that wouldn’t be so odd to me if it were a one time thing but lately I’ve been seeing a lot of it.

I should say, some of it may be my area. I’ve always lived in the south but the town I lived in longest as an adult was full of creative ppl and the culture there encouraged that. I tend to be drawn to free thinking, open minded, creative sorts. But in the south you’ll have towns like those but also large pockets that seemingly haven’t progressed much beyond 1950s/60s in mindset. I know it’s just generational for the most part, but there are still many areas here with cultures that not only don’t encourage that sort of free thinking, but I’d go so far as to say even discourage it. And to be frank, it can feel pretty dystopian to anyone who’s lived outside of that for even a little while. 

Buzz, I think you hit the nail on the head with some of that and it’s strange you used “pendulum”. I’ve been quoting a friend who said a few years ago that whenever progress is made, the pendulum tends to temporarily swing back quickly in the other direction and it can for a time feel like we’ve all taken 1 step forward, 2 steps back. We were discussing all the recent division, etc.

 I think you’re right Covid made us all a lot more isolated and that we’d already been dipping our toe into that collective pool of alienation with our rising screen addiction, as well as new and old struggles we’ve faced before re: division, politics, etc..but with new and different ways of absorbing it all.The covid factor at least helps me be sympathetic abt some of it. 

Some of the other stuff, not so much. It’s disheartening. Idk how old you think I am but I’m pushing 40, and tho I wouldn’t say I’ve never not been sensitive to hateful bs, I’d agree that at my age I’ve definitely lost a lot of patience for it. Intent matters so I’m not talking little jabs or jokes, I’m talking abt true bigotry, which I find dangerous. Where for me it used to be more abt changing hearts and minds, these days, I feel shocked when ppl can be, as skirts said, so stupid. The entitlement and hypocrisy kills me. I lost a contact in animal rescue last month, a woman I was starting to rlly admire for all the work she does to help dogs here, after she felt the need to txt me some racist views and I had the audacity to politely disagree. She responded with “don’t text me again. I’m blocking you.” 

I've had on two different occasions I can think of at the moment where a stranger has tried to provoke me into something while I was minding my own business. Once in the grocery I was heckled and then stalked throughout the store, because I had looked through the spinach and the heckler said they're all the same. The other time was even more unbelievable at a gas pump. Both times were shocking enough to me that I wrote them up and posted on fb. 

I have suspected that they were looking to get a toxic reaction that they could record and make a viral video that they could cash in on.

GoAdopt: I think it's the Yankee in me that despises strangers calling me hun, sugar, sweetie, sweetheart, etc. Especially hate male strangers calling me babe. But I call everyone darling, 

but not strangers.

It's like road rage. Don't give the finger or any reaction at all, cuz they might just kill ya.

I remember another where the skank cashier at the grocery tried to provoke me. That skank was fired.

GoAdoptADog! —

It is definitely a bummer when people react like that. I doubt that you were one of those grouchy, sensitive smokers, so you cannot relate. 

As for deleting geographical references — good idea. It’s cool you live in a cultural hotspot; others of us do, too. 😎

Buzz no, definitely don’t live in a cultural hotspot rn.

I said I lived in a more open minded, creative town before. Rn I live in a town where at least once a month I hear someone’s idea of the right or wrong sort of ppl, usually to do with good old fashioned bigotry, and usually from people who begin such statements by saying they aren’t that at all (and I’m sure they truly believe that.)

But it can be frustrating and I suppose every once in a while I’m tempted to share these little stories, maybe just because they happen so frequently that I want to insure it hasn’t become the norm everywhere. I paused all my social media a few years back for many reasons but mostly because of all the division I saw and because I was becoming addicted to it and not very present with people in real life. Maybe thought here would be a good place to bemoan it all a bit for a moment, but hope I didn’t overshare. 

Edit: deleted the bit abt the label, it was too personal..just miss it all I guess

Skirts, I personally don’t mind if a stranger calls me hon or darlin’, as long as it’s friendly. In the south, it’s usually just friendly. I find it endearing but context and intent matter so I can see that it’d be situational. No offense meant here, but maybe referring to the cashier as “skank” doesn’t help matters much. 

Lol I didn't call the skank a skank.

To change subject..(sort of.. was going to add that all the stuff before makes me so emotional I legit sobbed during some of Conan Obriens Mark Twain award acceptance speech)

So er, did anyone watch Conan OBrien’s Mark Twain award special? Big fan of his. 

Skirts, srry was confused. I rlly only ever use “skank” or words like that in a teasing, loving way. Even then, only with close friends or ppl who def know I wouldn’t mean it literally or in hostility. It’s another thing I’ve noticed though tbh. Idk if it’s my area or like Buzz was saying abt social media which I agree has people more inclined to give hostile opinions now that it’s become normalized, but definitely seeing ppl rise to anger and insults more quickly. I’ve been called a b*tch in a serious way a few times past few years, which actually scared me a bit because it was by people older than me, once by a man much larger than me who sort of bowed up at me, ..and uh, I’m just not used to that, nor do I wanna be. Classy.

I do think the intent with social media was to bring people together and share knowledge. The best laid plans.. amirite?

Anyway it’s weird because I agree dialogue is important, and I love hearing informed opinions. Off the bat, hostile opinions, not so much. I paused my social media in part because I couldn’t avoid seeing all the troll bait, knee jerk reactions, or provocative insults meant to incite anger. Also the EGO of it all, my gawd. I’ll admit I too was becoming a bit narcissistic with it. Anyway, it’s a shame because before all that it was pretty great for a while and even still could be used for better stuff, but rn only highlights for me how far we have to go in communication skills and how easy it is to get us to turn on each other or become vapid me-monsters.

It happened fairly recently. Was 100% on her. So contrived and convoluted. The woman was a skank, and I used that as a descriptor. It started when I asked for a refund on an item that I did not buy, on my previous trip. I bought one, but was charged for two. They would have to take my word for it. Of course I was polite about it. I showed her the receipt. She asked if I had brought the product with me. I'm like, no I didn't buy it. I just don't want to pay for something that I did not get (forced to repeat what i already had said but the ditz wasn't listening). She raised her hand to me and told me to calm down (loudly). Raised her hand like Diana Ross performing Stop in the Name of Love. Oh, then we got into it. The story goes on and on, and she did several more things designed to piss me off, including not giving me my current receipt, which I caught before I left the store, and got a copy from the manager, which had her name on it. But frankly I blew it off! I did boycott the store for awhile. Came back after el skanko was gone. No skank interferes with my happiness. And I got my refund.

PS: I keep coming back to edit this. Check back for more!

I would never call anyone a skank to their face, even a skank who was trying her damnedest to piss me off. Unless it was my sister and I've called her worse. 

I figure that online trolls are the same guys that used to make obscene phone calls before *69 put a stop to that. 😆 Frustrated men. And if you watch true crime shows, the majority of the killers are frustrated men who got turned down. Men don't take rejection well. This is a valuable lesson I learned from dear old Dad.

Just sayin', but.........

"Hell hath no fury like.........."

https://youtu.be/bBbwm4KEFPc?si=_wUW2gOkibfvqWis

To quote a certain female assassin played by Uma Thurman 

"She had it coming."

Dammit. on the rare occasions I’m leading hot streak I can’t help not to play it once more. But I was shocked I was leading at all because I lost 15 mins in, so thought I could do better than my top score. This time I managed to control my temptation to keep trying.. But 30 mins to midnight, I gave in and tried again, losing my 2nd game, D’oh! Hot streak is too addictive for me. Hits all the compulsive buttons. 

I am sorry, but my attention span on minutia is very short. I wish it was longer, but then somebody yells "squirrel" and I get diverted to totally different mental images which require a different part of my brain which, when overworked, starts to revert to the simple thoughts such as "cheese" and the different types or the fact that a photographer wants you to say "cheese" instead of just saying "smile" which a normal person would do if asked unless you are naturally grumpy whereas the photographer would have to resort to the tickle, and that might make your face look like brie.  Now, I don't know about you but brie tastes like what I think aluminum foil would taste like if I ever tasted aluminum foil which I haven't because who would do that unless a small piece of it got torn off in your wrap and you ate it and that would be a problem if your wrap had brie in it because you wouldn't know if you were tasting aluminum foil or brie.

I enjoyed soft, warm Havarti yesterday, served in a toasted onion bagel...delicious.

So enjoyable with Kauai coffee: brewed strong, one can taste a hint of the Kona that's in it (sadly, only 10%).

Pure Kona, ~$40/lb., I think...

$40 per 8 oz … plus shipping. From Hawaii to your door. Bottom line:$90+ per pound. 

Yeah, I knew it was dear...I've been gifted a few times...

Lovecraft's Beyond the Wall of Sleep, given in singular narrative fashion.

I wish I were a cheese expert to give you an honest reply to the question Go!, but my skills are limited.

But yeah, semi-softs are a group to love sampling all over the place.

Now jonesing a Carlsburg Elephant Strong...

No problem. I’m just being lazy to use search abt it. I mean, I tend to just google everything, but with certain topics these days, it’s much more of a chore to find valid info. With food questions, search generally gives A) the official line which will be from the FDA or whatever, then B) countless sites actually set up for advertising purposes, which all source from the same FDA info verbatim and so will say the exact same thing, and finally C) your Reddit/Quora forums and whatnot which will generally be evenly divided between 2 extreme camps, one proclaiming that if you eat it, you’ll die a slow and painful death, the other half saying it’s totally fine and they eat it almost solely all day long. 

I do love havarti too tho. Went on a veggie sandwich kick last year and used havarti and Gouda a ton. I’m also obsessed by croissant loaf (I know that sounds dumb but if you haven’t tried it, you should) with goat cheese & honey. 

I don’t cook and I love food too much to try to get into it, as I’m too impatient to cook for an hour when I’m hungry, so I tend to live off takeout. But roasted tomatoes are so easy—never knew that before this year. I set the oven to 425, throw a bunch of cherry, grape, or Campari tomatoes into Tupperware, douse em in a good olive oil, add whole garlic cloves & usually some balsamic, pepper and spice em a bit, then pop em in oven abt half hour until the skins bursting. I pour some over thinly sliced, crunchy French bread and throw any leftover tomatoes in the fridge for the week. 

It’s the fanciest of my very few homemade quick snacks, definitely beats my Amy’s coconut Thai soup with a bunch of jalapeño pita chips tossed in, ha. 

You're likely already hep to this..........but havarti with avocado, and/or with sprouts (if you can find some that are safe - or grow your own, which isn't hard) on croissants, or any good bread, is pretty wonderful.  A *tiny* splash of balsamic if you dare.  ;)

HLN has Jim Jones coming up on its "Very Scary People"...worth another view (admitted fascination with his stuff).

I couldn't really tell, and I asked no questions, but the conclusion I'd have to come to is that one was a chick trying to be a dude, with the other a dude trying to be a chick (with all clearly maintaining professional, workaday interfaces)...but gladly, I can choose to never ask nor ever know.

TN, I *did* recently get some sprouts for a veg sand. And I was so excited because I made my own veg cream cheese spread for it. But I flubbed and added way too many veggies in spread so it was way too crunchy. I also over salted, which is very unlike me as I tend to not rlly care for much salt but meh, it wound up not so great. Then I totally forgot to use the sprouts. 

I have a problem with my veggie drawer in that I consistently forget I have stuff in there. I do have some sprouts to grow, which I’ll try to do soon. Thanks for the tip w havarti & avocado..I love avocado. And I do dare with balsamic. I love it on most everything as well.

I had a friend in college who one day, when I made some “don’t drink the kool aid” remark,  out of the blue and very casually mentioned her mother (as a young girl) and grandmother were at Jonestown with Jim Jones, and wound up leaving before all the chaos at the end. I tried to press her for more details but another friend dropped by and we were interrupted, but always have been curious how they left. Seems a bit too dark a topic to txt an old pal out of the blue about tho, so I’ll prob never know. 

Jones' son seems like a very complex person as well, in video clips I've seen...odd, how he lived through, saw, came out of, such an unreal experience of such huge magnitude.

Ms AdoptADog -- You recently purchased sprouts specifically for making a veggie sandwich, but you forgot to add the sprouts? And you added too much salt when you don't like salt? Those are characteristics I treasure! In my line of work, you appreciate short memories. 

Do you enjoy art museums? "Shopping" at Talbots? No fear of being arrested for misdemeanors? I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 

⬆️ he's buzzclik